012If you look to your right, you will see a broken man

posted by Jiggy on July 18th, 2006

I got home last night from a great weekend in Atlanta. I was kind of excited to get back to work and see how the theater was running. I got there and had a decent day until I received a phone call from my boss. He seemed in a good mood and give me many complements as to how well I was doing with the theater, after I was given impromtu control after the departure of the former manager.

This helped to add to my already high expectations that he would put me in charge
permanently. Then he told me he hadn’t made his decision yet. Here is where the bomb fell, to quote him directly, “you are a candidate but I dont think you are a top candidate.”

It made me feel as if all the good things he had said meant nothing. I busted my ass for the week before my trip and after I got back. It feels like I have just been told everything you do and everything you stand for in that building isn’t good enough. I am not good enough. It seems to me that it was a bad thing to say, because why should I kill myself to get the building going in the right direction if I have no hope of reaping the benefit? Not to mention the spiral it has sent me down. I have usually always looked forward to going to work, now I don’t even want to see that building right now. The rest of the day there just hurt. I can’t think of how else to describe it. I have been working for this for three and a half years and now it has started to feel wasted. If I can’t run a theater I have been working at for two and a half years why should I expect they will ever have faith in me to run a theater I know nothing about?

What a lovely thing to comeback to after a great vacation.